Written by Jenne Todd, Shift Collective
Pre-judging other people – is it an inevitable part of doing life in community? A product of our internal make-up…part of our deep need for a sense of security? Is it a choice we make from one new interaction to the next? To be honest, I’m not sure…but one thing I do know to be certain is that it’s the kiss of death when it comes to opening ourselves up to possibility. Judgement severely limits our ability to expand into our gifts and God-given potential. Although the attraction towards engaging in sub-conscious pre-judgement of other people has strong pull, like a moth to a flame (unfortunately), there is something you can do to better equip yourself to resist the temptation.
Increase your self-awareness.
Often, we pre-judge other people based on our own past experiences…without some conscious effort. We tend to see others as WE are, rather than how they are. When we have a limited outlook around the inherent goodness of other people or around such things as abundance, gratitude, the potential of relationships, etc., we are more likely to see others that very same way. We hook onto something they say, some aspect of their appearance, even a poor first impression and with our heads down, we extrapolate…to our detriment.
We are all human. We get caught up in the moment. We forget to look inward for answers to our most difficult questions and sometimes seek information from the limited aspect of others lives with which we engage, forgetting that we don’t know their whole story.
When we are strongly tethered to an abundance mindset, we view others as inherently giving, kind, receptive and respectful and tend to believe more often, that things happen for us rather than to us.
Whenever that spirit of judgement arises within our psyche, it is a clue as to where we have unfinished business to pursue within our own personal development and healing journey. Our belief systems and any unhealed wounds of our past affects our interpretation of the world more than we think, making it a top priority to pursue. We must live into alignment with who we are and the mission we support.
So, you ask…what can I do? My number one tip is to be patient, kind and loving toward yourself, the way you would be to someone you love. Hold space for yourself to learn and heal. Pursue growth through a counselor, therapist or coach, read books pertaining to your situation, seek out mentors, attend events, listen to Podcasts, read blogs…do whatever it takes to start moving in the direction you want to go! Finally, know that your work is supported…and needed. The world needs more of you. Not the perfect you, the work in progress you.
Jenne, Shift Collective